Superman (Didn’t) Return

I have a twin brother who currently lives far away from me. And somehow I suddenly remember an incident when I was still living with him. It was one day in the afternoon,  I stopped by his office which was located in one of CBD areas in Singapore to go back home together.

When noticing him carrying a shopping bag with DC label on it, I immediately knew that he had just bought a Superman T-shirt from DC Shop. For your information… we are both fellow superheroes enthusiasts since our childhood and Superman is one of our favorite characters (and of course million other Superman fans worldwide).

Then he pulled out the new shirt as he told me that he bought the latest model from DC. Hmm … I must admit it’s a nice shirt, it’s so tempting just to see it. And realizing he was carrying quite a lot of luggage, I then offered assistance to bring his new shirt (it’s inside the bag of course).

We went back home by taxi. As the trip is far enough, I put the bag in the car seat right next to me and I became lost in the chat all the way until the taxi driver interrupted our conversation . “Here we are here…” he said.  Then I promptly paid and left the cab to walk toward the house.

The conversation was still going on until we entered the house. After arriving in the room, suddenly he surprised me with a question: “Eeh … where is the shirt?” My God … I forgot it! When I walked out of the taxi I forgot to bring his new shirt! Suddenly I felt I was going to faint. I just made a stupid mistake. “Sorry …”  that’s all I could say after explaining that negligence, even though I knew a sorry was not enough to fix the errors that have occurred.

It was this mixed feeling; between sadness, disappointment, and especially guilt. And I was ready to receive the blame from my brother for these errors. But what happened was beyond expectations, instead he replied “Don’t worry… it’s okay …” His words felt like cool water in the middle of the desert … so comforting and reassuring. Then I took the initiative to contact the taxi company that I was riding and asked for help to contact me immediately if they find a brand new superman t-shirt.

Too bad I did not ask for the taxi bill, I also did not record the name of the taxi driver. So hope is what I have left while waiting for the news without any certainty. The next day the taxi company contacted me and apparently they did not find the shirt. They had been trying to find … but the information I provided was inadequate. And besides, thing like that would  be very easily taken by anyone, including passengers who used the cab after me.

So I tried to let it go. Not like a movie titled Superman Returns that I have ever seen where Superman returning after disappearing for some time, this time Superman did not return. To this day the shirt was never returned. It’s missing some where.

I believe that deep in his heart, he was definitely upset. He had just bought his favourite t-shirt, had not even used … then it was lost. But in this incident he managed to show his greatness. As life is a choice, he chose to forgive and forget what happened. He knew with certainty that the accusations and anger will not help the return of Superman t-shirt but instead would make me depressed, condemned and certainly: wounded.

Each fight will inevitably lead to cuts and scratches in our hearts even if we can reconcile with those who fight with us. Missing items can be bought again, but how to treat a broken heart? That is why Richard Carlson wrote a best-seller book titled Do not Sweat The Small Stuff which is essentially about advocating for no fuss about little things. And basically all problems are minor … so avoid fights in each issue.

This is what I’ve been applying to my relationship over the decades I lived with my twin brother. And I believe this also to be applied in the relationship between husband and wife. Many people say that quarrels in the household is the seasoning that will tighten the love between husband and wife. I personally do not agree with this view because the word of God never taught such things. Instead, God teaches us to live in peace, love one another, forgive each other and not use the fight to tighten the love.

By implementing this, I enjoy the most harmonious relationship with my twin brother. A relationship that envy many other people. I even couldn’t remember the last time I fought with him because we really never had a fight. I proved that fighting is not a flavour but a poison that can actually kill a relationship. Believe me … it’s not worth to sweat the small stuff …

“He who would love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips from speaking deceit. Let him turn away from evil and do good; Let him seek peace and pursue it.”(1 Peter 3:10-11 NKJV)